Selena Gomez Bodies Bieber On Instagram Comment

This is like Rocky and Apollo just trading haymakers for 15 rounds except instead two steroid riddled 80s actors we’ve got a couple teeny boppers commenting on Instagram. Like I need a “No Easy Way Out” montage playing as I read these comments. In my mind this one goes to the judges. There is no decisive victory. No knockout. This one goes to the scorecards.

On the one hand, Selena landed a major blow to the Biebs face calling him out for being a pussy about mean comments on IG. This is like when Drago started bleeding in Rocky IV. “The Biebs is cut!!! The Biebs is cut!!!” There is nothing worse than looking petty and soft online and telling your 77 million followers you’re going to go private because you and your new slampiece can’t take the mean comments. Day One of Celebrity School they teach you to stay above the riff raff and deal with the heat. Biebs wilting and his ex calling him out is a terrible look.

On the other hand, Selena should have taken her own advice, really. If you’ve really moved on from someone, you’re not checking their social media. You’re not worrying about their new girl. Sure, you can privately relish the fact that the whole internet is telling this guy that his new girl is trash and that you’re better than her. But the minute you jump into those comments you ruin it. The comments section of anything on the Internet – blogs, social media, whatever – is the lowest of the low. Stooping to that level is a moment of weakness for sure. Point Biebs.

Biebs doubles up on a 1-2 punch with his very own Trump comment. Basically “my ex girlfriend, who’s only famous because she rode my coattails, is still trying to throw shade my way. Sad!” Justin Trump out here pulling no punches. I love the “all love” comment after saying something blatantly spiteful too. That’s such a great move. “Fuck your mother. Nothin but love though, homie!”

Biebs is ahead heading into the final round, 2-1. But Selena evens the score and ends up earning the split decision victory with the fact that she blows this new chick out of the water. I’m not really interested in sitting here and bashing some 17 year old girl who’s caught up in Bieber’s Dick Tornado. But as a judge sitting ringside she’s gotta be addressed. Selena Gomez is a goddam rocket. She’s blasting off to another solar system type hot when she turns it on. This new chick isn’t even remotely on the same level. She’s another chick getting dicked by Bieber just like that other one last week.

S-Go still the Queen of that Bieber D. And at the end of the day the best way for a chick to win one of these battles is to be the hottest one involved, so Put It In The Books for Selena.

Not like it really matters for Bieber. Dude will be off instagramming the next ho he’s smashing in a matter of days living the best life on earth. But at this moment he’s got some egg on his face and Selena can smile with that W.